God’s Plan for My Wife–Who Isn’t My Soul Mate

I keep seeing an article passed around friends on Facebook. Hannah (that’s all I got) wrote it, and if you haven’t read it, then I highly encourage it. I enjoyed it a lot.

I find myself torn on this article, though. It encourages a revamp on the cultural idea of dating—which I’m all for, of course! But Hannah makes a move that, honestly, made me squirm a little in my seat. I’ll keep it short, since I’ve been told I should stop writing on dating topics.

Hannah sacrifices a deep and beautiful theological truth to make her point. She rightly attacks the cultural idea of soul mates, but makes the unfortunate move of giving up God’s sovereignty.

So how can we reconcile the two? Well, that’s a large task, as many brighter and greater men than myself have attempted to tackle it. And while I may be foolish for even trying in this severely limited context, I will try nonetheless.

God does have a plan for you and whomever you marry. Sorry to go against Hannah’s father here who said something like, “God doesn’t have a husband for [you], doesn’t have a plan for who [you] marry.” This is just hogwash. Sorry to be blunt, but it is. God absolutely has a plan for who we will marry (should the Lord will that we actually do). He has written whether or not we will marry, and to whom we will be married, from the dawn of time.

The problem we face is this ‘soul mate’ business. This, too, is hogwash. There’s no perfect person that just ‘completes your soul’ when you find them. Your soul is already completed in Christ! But, that doesn’t remove God’s sovereign plan for your life.

In other words, the danger of Hannah’s line of thinking is simply this: we would be able to think that we married the wrong person. We can’t think that, nor should you married folks ever think it. God wanted you to marry that person for the sanctification of you both. That is to say, for your good!

So let’s ditch the soul mate idea, but not God’s sovereignty. Let’s agree that God does have a plan for the person I marry (should He will it so), just as He did (and does!) for Hannah and her husband! How wonderful that is! But let’s also agree that whoever I meet, woo, and say ‘I do’ with is that person—even if she doesn’t meet this bizarre standard of being a ‘soul mate.’